Here's Your Guide To Whelming, A Problematic New Dating Trend

by | June 9, 2022, 8:15 IST


Between pocketing, benching, breadcrumbing, it seems like there’s basically a term to cover every relationship behaviour out there. And, the latest of the bunch is whelming, which might come off as a simple dating trend, but is actually a symptom of a much wider problem. Here’s everything you need to know about the toxic new dating trend. 

What Is Whelming? 

The all-new dating trend is basically when your dating app match complains to you about how overwhelmed they are by the number of other matches they’ve been getting. Simply put, it’s when they’re essentially bragging about how attractive they are and making you feel like you should be grateful to be given the opportunity to interact and connect with them. 

TBH, whelming can be really frustrating when it’s done by someone who’s on an ego trip, but it actually is a symptom of a real problem for plenty of people trying to navigate modern dating. For many of us, constantly swiping and looking at endless potential matches can genuinely feel too overwhelming. “This happened with me when I was very new to dating apps and it got too overwhelming. I didn't do it intentionally, but it was getting difficult to handle many options at a time. I realised it later on and stopped, but yes it was pretty unnecessary to do that,” reveals Shivani Dixit, 26, Writer. 


Feeling Overwhelmed With Online Dating 

Earlier, online dating used to be a small corner of the internet, but not anymore. There seems to be a specialist app for anything you might be looking for, whether it’s sex, a long-term partner or someone with the exact same music taste as you. Truth be told, it has never been easier to hook up with a new partner, but all that choice can feel overwhelming. If you’ve been experiencing the same, here are some ways to deal with it: 


Ways To Cope With Feeling Overwhelmed 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it doesn’t mean you should delete your accounts and bid adieu to online dating altogether. There are plenty of ways to deal with your feelings while still having fun. 


Be More Selective 

Yes, talking to everyone to explore your options might sound fine, but we really suggest you limit yourself to only say four new matches a week. That way you can actually talk to people that you really fancy, and not just anyone and everyone. 


Don’t Rely On Apps To Find ‘The One’ 

Exploring your options online and trying to come across someone you can connect with is fine, but don’t make it all about social media. Ensure that you’re still open to meeting someone IRL too. Get out there, go to bars, and join a new class, there’s nothing wrong with old-fashioned dating!


Limit Your Screentime 

“When I first tried out online dating, it got really addictive. In a few days, I was swiping at the workplace, on my way back, and during my bedtime,” says Shivani. She also shares it all worked out for her when she limited her dating app screen time to 20 minutes a day. Limit your time, and you’ll find it’s easier to avoid getting stuck in the old scroll hole. 

Also Read: Are You Being Pocketed? Watch Out For This Dating Trend 

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