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Grief is one of the most painful experiences of being human, and yet it’s the most inevitable. Everyone goes through it at some point in life. It could take the form of a break-up, the loss of a loved one, the death of a dear pet, friendships falling apart, a miscarriage or a divorce. Whatever form it takes in your life, remember to not dwell on it as it can debilitate you physically, mentally and emotionally.
You have a choice in your response to any situation - no matter how bad it may seem. Never romanticize your grief, as that will make you addicted to the pain. Instead, actively try to break out of your vicious thought patterns. Here are some healthy coping mechanisms:
Meditation
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Meditation involves sitting down with your thoughts and talking yourself out of negative ones, like you would a loved one who was suffering. It’s basically a check-in with your own mind, so that it doesn’t stray away towards regrets from the past or worries about the future.
Journalling
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For those who find it hard to sit in silence and meditate, or need someone to vent their feelings to but don’t have anyone like that, journaling can be your savior. Get into the habit of writing down your honest feelings in a diary at the end of each day. Over a period of time, you will be able to observe repetitive thought patterns and realize that you’re in a loop that only you can break with deliberate efforts.
Face Your Triggers
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Music, smells, special occasions and milestones are some of the most common triggers to grief. Instead of shutting off from the world when they crop up, once you feel stronger, look them in the eye until the fear goes away. Learn to love your favourite song again, even if the person who introduced it to you is no more. Likewise, learn to appreciate the smell of roses, a breakthrough in your career or a special occasion, and stop associating them with painful memories from the past.
Express Gratitude
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Be grateful for both the good and bad experiences in your life. Good experiences are a blessing and bad experiences are a lesson. And sometimes, when you look back at your life, it makes complete sense why certain terrible things happened to you. They were preparing you for much better things. So everytime you find yourself in a bad place, trust that it’s divine intervention.
Of course, sometimes things are just so bad that none of this works. Then, you can just sit with your feelings, allow time to heal you, and keep soldiering on, whatever that might look like for you.
Also read: How To Have The Talk With Your Teen And Not Make It Awkward
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