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According to popular culture, the best friendships are made in childhood. Friends you make later in life don’t even come close. However, the reality is very different. So many people go through friendship break-ups growing up. In fact, it’s an unavoidable part of life as people and their priorities change. There’s really no reason to feel guilty about it. You can always start over, and make better friends as an adult. Here are five reasons that will convince you:
You Have A Choice
The friendships you made in your childhood were circumstantial. They happened because you probably went to the same school, lived in the same neighborhood or went to guitar class together. Quite often, when that common point that brought you together becomes a thing of the past, the friendship fizzles out. As an adult, however, you meet a variety of people and respect the fact that they have their own priorities. You don’t expect them to always be on the same page.
You Know What You Want
Kids don’t put too much thought into friendships. They become friends with whomever they spend the maximum time with. It’s only upon growing up that you realize how important it is to surround yourself with people who share the same values and ideals. As they say, you are the product of the five people you surround yourself with. As an adult, you have a better sense of who to let into this circle of trust.
You’re More Real
In our teenage years, we shift from trying to earn respect in our parents’ eyes to trying to earn respect in our friends’ eyes. People-pleasing comes as a natural by-product of this behaviour. As you grow older, and accept your flaws and insecurities, you’re realer than ever. You stop begging people to stay in your life, because your self-esteem isn’t tied to what they think of you. This gives you the freedom to unapologetically be yourself and show up in every friendship, with authenticity.
There’s No Room For Drama
Teenage years can be tumultuous. The need for social approval makes us insecure, cynical and envious, which inevitably takes a toll on our relationships. Some even feel the need to compete with their own friends, until they grow up and realize how unnecessary that was. As an adult, you’re calmer and more comfortable in your skin, and attract friends who are on the same wavelength.
You Can Begin Afresh
Maybe you did not have a lot of friends growing up. Maybe your childhood friendships fizzled out. Whatever the case, remember that it’s never too late to make friends. The notion that the best friendships are made in childhood is cliche and redundant. It all boils down to your intentions for the other person - whether or not you’re really willing to make things work.
Age really doesn’t matter.
Also read: Glennon Doyle’s ‘Untamed’ Is Essential Reading For Modern Women
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