I needed a friend but you wanted more

by | November 27, 2017, 0:00 IST


All I wanted was a friend, nothing less nothing more. But you wanted more, and I didn't. Is that my fault?

I just wanted someone to talk to. Share a joke when I'm in a good mood, rant about a bad day. Wasn't I willing to do the same for you? Isn't this exactly who you are with people you call "friends"? Talk about movies maybe, politics and other things in the world?

Just because I was from the opposite gender doesn't mean that I wanted something else from you, or that you are entitled to expect something more from me. Just because I send a text before you do, does not mean that I am romantically interested in you. Just because I share things with you, does not mean that I thought about you the whole day. When I'm busy I won't reply, I'll reply after a few hours when I'm free. (It's not like you were dying and you were asking me to call 100. What are you complaining about?).

You are not entitled to expect me to tell you what I am doing or what I did every single day. (You are not my mom. Hell, even my mom doesn't try to monitor me the way you tried to! I do not have to answer you.) You complained to your friends that I wasn't the same as before. But let me ask you, are you the same person who I started talking to? With every step you took towards expecting more, I took two steps back.

I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I tried to put in the best way I could, that I cannot give what you are asking for. You didn't understand. I wouldn't take your calls. You didn't understand. I wouldn't reply to your texts. You didn't understand.

But then your questions went from irritating to pestering. You demanded explanations to what, where, when, why and how. Did I have an option left? So, I blocked you. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe. But I did try to explain.

What you were doing to me was emotionally draining. You just assumed that if you keep trying you would win me over. A no is a no. Period. But you would never understand that. I was so frustrated that blocking you on social media wasn't enough. You used to repeatedly call. I blocked your number as well. And lo and behold. That wasn't enough either. You started to call from different numbers. With that, thanks to you, I just hit the ceiling. I disappeared from social media. I changed my number. I even stopped talking to anyone you knew.

But I realised that in the process of cutting myself away from you, I was cutting myself away from the whole world as well. I was slowly becoming an introvert, I was slipping gradually into depression. It dawned on me that in the process of not letting you take control, I let you take control. So, guess what, I'm back! I got my old sim. Pinged all my old friends who I had shunned and refused to talk to. But sadly, you still didn't get the point. You still call, you still expect me to keep a log book of my daily activities and hand it over to you at the end of the day.

But hey, I can't keep hiding forever. I never hated you, but I just wanted to be a friend and nothing more. If you can't accept that a no will forever be a no, well then, so be it. I don't care anymore.

By Anonymous

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